Dravid in the cricket world cups

Straight from wiki, but worth a read...

Dravid was top run scorer in the 7th World Cup(1999), scoring 461 runs. He is the only Indian to score two back to back 100's in World Cup's.He scored 110 vs Kenya and followed it with a masterly 145 vs Sri Lanka in Taunton in a match where he kept wickets later.He was vice captain during 2003 World cup where India reached the final, serving his team in the dual capacity of batsman and wicket keeper to accommodate additional batsman, a move that paid huge dividends for India. Dravid was the captain during 2007 cricket world cup in West Indies, where Indian cricket team had a dismal campaign. Dravid had scores of 14 in Bangladesh match, 7* in Bermuda match and 60 in Sri Lanka match.

Dravid - a distant No2

There was a huge hullaboo around Sachin Tendulkar's 20 years in international cricket. While this is by no means a small feat, I was thinking of the No.2 player in Indian cricket - Rahul Dravid. A guy who has been on the sidelines for various reasons best not known to even him.

The selectors have been their usual self - the bunch of jokers, only they are being paid in legal terms. ie - the first set of guys who are actually paid to select an Indian team! Can you imagine that!!

Anyway, that calls for a separate topic by itself. Coming back to Dravid, I wondered how many other batsmen have been around for 15 years plus, scored over 10000 runs in tests and ODIs. Easily the best batsman in the team after Sachin. In terms of commitment, determination, concentration and skills, Dravid may even be a notch above Tendulkar.

The greatest critic of Sachin always says one thing: that he is not a finisher. Even the other day when he scored 175 runs, he ended up making another World Record; of being the best score when a team lost chasing.

Dravid for his part has played a perfect team role. He has scored when it mattered most, at a decent pace too. You cant blame the guy if he couldnt play lofted shots early in his career but he changed his game soon after.

I think we should try and preserve the good players, respect them and encourage them instead of ignoring them.

11000 test runs is a great achievement. Only 5 people have done it so far. That speaks volumes about the man's deeds.

I think we should celebrate Dravid as much as we do for Sachin, if not more.

The leaked tape of the Indian Premier Leak

(Karthik Narayan)

Breaking news: guess what our lucky reporter ran into when he accidentally stepped into cow dung – he managed to overhear and tape an interesting conversation. Here are some excerpts from the leaked tape. Now that’s what we call holy shit!

Modi: Malcolm, fast!

Malcolm Speed: It’s actually Speed.

Modi: Oh? Nice movie. Saw it three times.

Malcolm Speed: No, Speed, really.

Modi: Eh? Anyway, I understand that you like instant action, but don’t be so impatient, my friend (Pauses to cough) I told Pawar about this concept and he is thrilled that we are all going to be in the money, err. I mean we will all have some good cricket action.

Malcolm: What difference does it make, anyway? So, what’s your idea?

Modi: Look, its summer in India. What makes the biggest news in the Indian summers?

Malcolm: Question Paper Leak?

Modi: Exactly! After the QPL, it shall be….

Malcolm: The ICL?

Modi: You mean, the Indian Chemical Leak?

No, not Bhopal! Anyway you are on the right track. I give you - the name Indian Physical Leak!

Malcolm: Hmmm. doesn’t sound all that great to me. I mean, we need a flashy title to it, even if it’s some dumb thing.

Modi: Ok? Then… the Indian Public Leak? Indian Procrastinated Leak? Indian Powerful Leak (or Pawar-full Leak). Practice Leak? Premium Leak? Prepaid Leak? Premier Leak? (Catches up with breath. He is panting to no end now)

Malcolm: Ah, the last one is a lot better! It’s got a nice feel to it. It’s between Premium Leak and Premier Leak – I guess we should go with the latter; the former looks pricey. So how does this work?

Modi: Do you know what is the biggest business; which is universal across the globe; that every man and woman wants, comes at a price but is worth it?

Malcolm: Umm, no can’t even guess. What is such a great thing in this world?

Modi: Almost everybody pays for it; this is done even in the jungles/ walls and movie posters. The poor worms, snails repel this so much they quit their jobs. Mosquitoes stopped tearing people’s blood cells and instead tore at their own! It gives a shiver up a snake’s spine. Lizards couldn’t stand it that they don’t leave even their tails behind anymore! All living beings go berserk because of this act by humans. What is it?

Malcolm: Hey let me have three guesses please?

Modi: All right!

Malcolm: A – watching cricket and golf in adjacent TV sets and trying to decide which is more boring. B – Listening to Sirbhajan and Resanth swearing at each other, at everyone in sight and not in sight. C – Trying to figure out who is a better actor, the cricketers or the movie stars.

Modi: No, no and no! Going for a leak, that’s what! Using the restroom. Why is it called the rest room anyway? I do not recall taking rest in that smelly place..

Anyway, it will be the world’s greatest show on earth! Movie stars and cricketers in the same ground, leaking! Imagine the crowd size, the fun and the gala time we will have…

But first, we should have a urine test and an auction! Believe me, this will be the greatest waste on earth!

(To be concluded)

THE WEED’S DEED – ALL IN NEED OR GREED? – A PLAY IN THREE ACTS

(Karthik Narayan)

Act I: At the restroom (read nets) before an IPL (Indian Premier Leak) cricket match.

A bearded saint was doing his business when a tall lanky handsome guy walks in. The introductions happen – the saint is Sirbhajan Singh (recently got Knighted by the Board for Corruption Creators in India) and the lanky guy is Resanth (he reinvented himself after coming to the Indian team!).

Resanth: Oh paaji. I have a small problemo!

Sirbhajan: Tell me; let me see how I can fix it for ya.

Resanth: it's like this – I have been offered a chance to act in a Bollywood-Chollywood types movie with four hot heroines. But there is only one snag.

Sirbhajan: Oh that is good. Really good. I could have sworn had I tried I would have got that role! Oh anyway, what's the big deal?

Resanth: No, the problem is – I need to act for a couple of scenes! Now, that is so hard, even our best of actors struggle to get through two scenes in a movie.

Sirbhajan: Aww, that's tough man. Did you ask Sach-in? He has great experience acting in a lot of commercials. Plus in the last few months, he has spent more time in ads than in cricket itself.

Resanth: Yes but he acts more or less Pogo channel types. My director has asked me to act in a scene where I have to cry!!

Sirbhajan: Hmmmmmmmm – you know what? He is a great actor. In fact, he is acting like he is injured so he can pocket easy money for this series. He is a genius, I say!

Resanth: Ok, I will enquire with him on how to do this.

Sirbhajan: Besides, don't forget – he is my Godfather. Whenever I do something stupid, he backs me up. Like the last time I did some monkey business, remember?

Resanth: Oh yeah, I remember that one. We had a good laugh at the expense of the Aussies. The first time in the mystery of cricket did the Awful Aussies crumble before our mighty money power!

Curtains – with Resanth's resounding laughter echoing and Sirbhajan trying to think with his miniscule brain cells.

X X X

Act II:

Sirbhajan is seen discussing with Sachin just before the match. Sirbhajan is unable to overcome his disability to think, so he chooses to take the help of Sachin. He has called for an emergency meeting of all senior players. The agenda is how to help Resanth become Rekanth, like one of the Superstar actors in India.

Sachin: Bhajji Bhai – be a true MumBHAI Indian. Use your brain, Err, do what you do best – shout nasty at him, make him cry like a crybaby.

Sirbhajan: No Sachin, I really got scared stiff the last time he showed that face at the Aussies! I won't dare do that to him. What if – he retaliates? No, I cannot even imagine that! No, I can’t handle this!

Sachin: I got it! This will push your TRP ratings also high – will make you feel like a man! Hayden didn't call you weed for nothing – you are the weed for this Indian team, remember that!

Sirbhajan: Don’t flatter me, hehe

Sachin: Let's have a slap bet. You slap him, if he cries you win; I will make you captain for the rest of the series. Otherwise I win, I will try playing in the future games. Again, it’s my handbook, mind you.

Sirbhajan: Anything you want! I feel so handicapped now. Just get me out of this mess. I never should have agreed to help that Resanth guy…

Sachin (with a grin): The hand in hand relationship finally would collapse in front of all those mass audiences. I love it!

X X X

The Final Act (Alternatively – the deed by the weed)

Sirbhajan hatches a plot to get Resanth kick-start his acting career, and as usual, finds the best solutions – to take matters into his own hands.

Right after the match gets over, Sirbhajan hands over the match to his opposition. Then goes over to Resanth to execute his handiwork.

As Resanth extends his hand for a man-to-man shake, Sirbhajan places his hand on Resanth's cheek.

Resanth goes ‘Oow’, and starts his acting career with tears of joy! (Thus was written, the parvata of Rekanth the great actor who would appear in movies like – The Handshake Redemption, Some like it Hard, Bravehand, Rekantha Jones and the last slapped, Slapotouille, Slap Hard (with three sequels), S for Slap, Slap Story 1 and 2, Slap wars, 12 Angry Slaps, Raiders of the Lost Slap, Lord of the Slaps, The Shining Hand and many others).

As curtains are brought down by the crew, we see the lone sulking figure of Sachin in the corner. The audience weeps for his sad state of affairs…

Monkey Business – the cricket connect

(Karthik Narayan)

If Darwin did a John 1:1, this is how it would look like:

“In the beginning, there was the word; and the word was monkey!”

I had my doubts – when Darwin came in my nightmares (read biology classes) and told me that man came from monkey, I scowled at him. I gave him a banana and asked him to go climb some tree. But I think that I made a mistake…

When I first saw the cricketing crowd in Mumbai imitate a gorilla, I thought they were fancying Andrew Symonds’ speed and skill, but later I came to know they were being themselves. More importantly, I would have never guessed cricket would be the harbinger of Darwin’s theory.

I always thought Harbhajan was as full of tricks as a monkey, but I didn’t know he would do “the monkey” dance for a healthy crowd at Sydney Cricket Ground and millions others watching from home or work. A nice way to begin the year 2008, I am sure.

I knew I had found out the answer to evolution. I was a monkey’s uncle now. Not to mention I was becoming wise monkey.

Though I still wonder, who the trainer is, behind all this. Any answers?

Hearing the heard – hear, hear!

(Karthik Narayan)


Brad Hogg, the Australian cricketer has been called up for alleged usage of expletives at the Indian cricketers during the Sydney test in Jan 2008. Read on…

When I read the headline: “Hearing on Brad Hogg tomorrow”, I wondered aloud.

Were they playing a joke on me, or was it as punny as it sounded? I mean, was it hearing of Brad Hogg? Was it intentionally wrongly lined up?

These questions were pertinent since the whole news sprang up because Brad Hogg was heard. After all that hearing, if they want more to be heard, God save them.

Maybe the organizers of the whole series liked hearing Hogg so much, they want to make him hog the limelight again and do a re-run of all the hearing.

Is this what they call “heard mentality”?

Or is it because the stump mikes are not loud enough to catch such low hush tones – seriously we need to get better microphones! I would recommend two sessions at the ENT or two pairs of hearing aids for each of the organizing committee.

Too many questions are not too good for your hearing. So I will do the hearing now – shoot out your answers! I am all ears…

Anil Kumble: A Never-say-Die campaigner

(Karthik Narayan)

The Dew Drops on the petal are so wonderful, but they are so delicate and are broken immediately on the touch. Still, it is something to see and enjoy. The human version of a Dew Drop cricketer has to be Anil Radhakrishnan Kumble, who is so delicate and precious that we do not want him to disappear! The collection of a few of these precious things together becomes a spectacular sight that can be felt only by the eyes. Anil Kumble's performances are delight in the eyes of the fans and soreness in the eyes of the critics.

To come up against abuse is something to do with immense mental strength! And Anil Kumble has it aplenty, abound, abundance like the water in the ocean. In his college days they called him a chucker – he didn’t care any less. Then at the international level, they said he was not a spinner but a medium pace bowler. He didn’t care for it. Everyone said he was a guy who can't turn the ball at all, but he never cared for that. He was kept out of the team when there was the need of only one spinner, still he did not care. He was said to be a bowler who fared badly overseas, still he always kept quiet. He just kept on trying silently with the doggedness that only he can show… that sheer gut!

India has always been known for its production of great spinners. Starting of with the spin quartet of Bedi, Prasanna, Chandrasekhar and Venkatraghavan to Anil Kumble and Harbhajan Singh, all have been quality spinners and among the best during their times. Today, Anil Kumble has become the third spinner in the world to get to 500 test wickets, and the first Indian spinner to do so. Anil Radhakrishnan Kumble became the second Indian to breach the coveted 400-test wickets mark after Kapil Dev and now has overtaken him to become India's leading wicket taker in both ODI's and tests.

Bangalore is his Garden of all Sorts as far as landmarks goes. His 100th, 300th and 400th wickets have all come at this venue. The only thing he missed out was his 200th wicket, which came at Harare.

Anil Kumble is a total workhorse, working endlessly with all the patience to wait till the last day on earth for a wicket. Noone can forget the 4th Test at Antigua in 2002, where he came out to bowl for the Indians with a fractured jaw, and with bandages all over his face. The commitment and desire to excel in the game is something which can be associated very much with Anil Kumble. Simply he is the very image of tolerance and patience which are the spinner's most important assets. Patience holds the key, one has to bowl even a full day to get a wicket, and every wicket is so precious for a bowler, and more importantly for a spinner.

His best moment for indian cricket definitely came during the Hero Cup of 1993 against the WI when he took the best bowling figures by any Indian six wickets for 12 runs! An excellent performance by our dear Kumble, no doubt.

It all started one fine Morning as a 19 year old against Sri Lanka (ODIs) and against England (tests) in 1990, when a tall, engineering student with glasses wore the Indian Sleeved Sweater and bowled a few overs against the likes of Gooch, Alan Lamb (his first wicket in tests was Alan lamb). Playing once in a year or so, slowly he built his wickets to come and bided for his time. The "Turning Point" in his career was the 7 wickets in the 1992-93 Johannesburg Test, the 2nd of the series against SA. That kick-started him really to go ahead and conquer greater heights.

His ODI exploits have been very clear - to bowl his best, attack and get the wickets. He was always a potential match winner who never disappointed his team and his captain.

Whoever thought of Kumble as a muck with the bat should be shown the video clips of the Titan Cup in 1996 when Kumble and Srinath played the Aussies defiantly and made India win.

Look at his test match performances - His Feroh Shah Kotla performance 1999 against Pakistanis is never to be forgotten… 10 on Ten! The entire batsmen in the scorecard were his! I have never seen anything like that, truly world class!

His first 100 wickets took him just 21 tests, the next 100 took 26, then just 19! And his last 100 have come off 19 as well… that is an indication that age is no bar to this Great Bowler!

Anil is mellowing with age, and extreme work pressure and load that it has taken its toll all over these 17 years, and more than 4000 overs bowled by him, but I am sure he shall rise behind the screen and prove his mettle every now and then.

The English dubbed him more of a medium pacer and so did the Aussies. He made them eat all their words with a sound performance against the Aussies when India toured Aus in the fag end of 2003. His past performances were all thrown to a corner as he picked up a heap of wickets, as many as 23 wickets which included 3 five wicket hauls and a 10-wicket haul in the 4th Test at Sydney.

Hats off to one of the finest bowler of this era! I personally pay tribute to Anil Kumble for his bright record filled past and wish him well for the rest of his cricketing future! Indian cricket is definitely going to be left with a void with the last of our best artillery of spinners laying down his arms in the shorter version. Soon it would be time for him to hang up his boots for good. I just whisper a silent prayer that Indian cricket wakes up to the perils ahead and finds a suitable replacement.

Make up your mind, fellas...

(Karthik Narayan)

I have heard of people finding out if they love someone... they pick up a flower (preferably one with lots of petals), and starts plucking one by one - calling out, "he/ she loves me, loves me not" until they run out of petals....

Likewise the Bob Woolmer case is being played like a game of "Tug of war" out there... One day they say its murder, the next day they proclaim it to be of natural causes.

Make up your mind fellas. or do you want poor Bobby to come out of the grave to tell us how he died?

Whats next on this front - calling in some Black magic expert to summon his spirits?

All in good spirits, I hope!!

You know you are an Indian cricketer when…

(Karthik Narayan)

1. The number of ads you have acted in/ languages you have learnt is more than the runs you have scored/ wickets taken in the last few matches.

2. You got a chance to play for the Indian team a week after you turned 32.

3. In case you don’t belong to 2 above, the only reason that you were chosen was to prove that the average age of the Indian team was less than 26 and it was a very "young team"!

4. Your previous test match or ODI was the maximum of the following – six months or missing 25 matches between matches.

5. You were going to get married and so in order to impress the bride and the in-laws to be, you played exceptionally well and thus won the hand of your bride.

6. You were told by the coach that you would not play for the next two matches due to your poor form, so you scored a "battling half century" or picked up 4 wickets or more against a team like Kenya or Zimbabwe.

7. You are the captain when you realise that the last time you had spent more time at the pitch was during the toss!

8. You spent a lot of time touring places that you were offered a job of being tourist guide.

9. You suffered tongue injuries of talking too much to the media and in the ads, and later claim that you are the strong silent type.

10. Your idea of being aggressive is to bowl wides so that the batsman cant hit you for a boundary in that over and when you bowl a legal delivery, its hit for a boundary anyway.